On the evening of December 29th, 2024, Donald “Old Timey” Kail left this earthly domain to go sip whiskey again with his good buddy Big Jim Welch. Holding hands with his family, he took his last breath with Jesus’ cross hanging steadfastly around his neck. He was 82 years old. This is an attempt to tell his story. Names and dates may or may not have been altered to protect the innocent (or because the details are a bit sketchy.)
Don was hatched in Lander, Wyoming to Joseph “Max” Kail and Vernabelle (Little) Kail on October 9th, 1942. Rumor has it that he was one of the last babies to be born at the old Bishop Randall hospital, but there is considerable disagreement about that point. What is not in question, however, is that his big brother, Dick, was excited to finally have someone he could pick on living under the same roof.
Along with his soon-to-be-hatched little brother Dan, the three would embark on many adventures that are unbelievable to today’s iPad generation. They damned near burned down half of Lander when a fire they set scorched much of what is now known as McManus park. Don and Dick nearly killed Dan when they convinced him to hit a basketball as hard as he could with a baseball bat…but later saved him when he fell through a burning coal seam outside of Hudson. The three of them got in a honest-to-god shooting match with Sam Browell and, while no one was hurt and all ended up friends, the ownership of Sam’s shotgun had to be negotiated between the warring group’s fathers. They hid in the old cottonwood trees at the top of Hillcrest Drive, where they grew up, and dropped dummies in front of approaching vehicles, making it appear as if the unsuspecting victim ran over a child falling from the tree. Evidently that stopped when they, quite literally, gave a poor gentleman a heart attack (he lived, they did too…barely.)
Stories abound, which Don would gladly share over a cup of his famous coffee, grounds included, while sitting in his old rocking chair Moses feeding neighborhood squirrels. For brevity, however, we’ll skip to high school, where he graduated, somehow, from Lander Vocational High School on or about 1959. His teachers were happy to see him go and his family was thrilled he made it. Don entered the Navy, where he honorably served as an aircraft mechanic in Florida and aboard multiple vessels, including the USS Enterprise. He may or may not have patched up bullet holes in planes returning from “surveillance” during what may or may not have been the Cuban Missile Crisis, but no one tell the press.
Post-service Don would prove his detractors wrong, obtaining a horticulture degree from the University of Wyoming and what is rumored to be a masters from CSU, which his family will neither confirm nor deny was actually conferred. During that time he married, and later divorced, Donna (Powell), but not before bringing two bouncing-baby-Don’s into the world: Travis and Marisa.
DJ, as he was sometimes called by old guys with big, white mustaches stained with chewin’ tobacca, was best described as a jack of all trades. He worked as a horticulturist in Oregon, growing long rows of weird plants foreign to us Wyoming folk. He was employed by Wilson Sporting Goods in Tennessee, sewing up pig skins for the gridiron. He worked for the “State School” as a carpenter and handy-man, and for the City of Lander and Westward Heights as the same. He was a ranch hand on Dick’s spread down in New Mexico which he referred to as “Lonesome Crow,” and where he learned just enough Spanish to get himself into trouble.
Somewhere during that timeline, the details of which are merely legend at this point, he married Miss Shelby Jean Sparks and adopted two knuckleheads, Chuck and Keith. Shelby and Don ran a business out of Ohio restoring and selling antiques, and later in Cookeville Tennessee, running a farm and managing and flipping properties. They later divorced, proving that Don was just too much for one woman to handle, or so they say.
Don was an avid snowmobiler, spending a whole lot of time on the mountain with his good friends Jeff and Christy Kimber, along with several people who also enjoy repeatedly getting hundreds of pounds of rubber and steel unstuck from a snowbank. He was also one heck of a water skier, although that has only been confirmed by Dick, and he could just be telling stories.
However, the most defining talent of “Kail” was his carpentry. He was a craftsman. Every nook and cranny in his home was touched by some unique solution he created with a lathe, table saw and sandpaper. Yet, he mainly put that skill to use for others, making them all sorts of interesting doohickies, from cigar box guitars to old tree-wizard carvings. As he aged and couldn’t spend time in his shop, he switched to leather work, making everything from nick-nack trays to moccasins. While some artists paint with a brush, Don painted with wood and leather. And he was a master.
Ol’ Don didn’t talk politics or religion, and he really didn’t enjoy conflict. He wouldn’t stand for the “F word” being said in polite company, but a few select swear words were acceptable if said in the proper tone and context. Like all of us, Don could get grumpy here and there, but for the most part he made a big effort to be cheery, an attitude appreciated by everyone whose lives he brightened. And he was never happier than when busy organizing a new deal -- whether for a used Amish buggy, a half a beef from a rancher, or a wooden nickel. And if he could get one over on Brother Dick, all the better.
Don was preceded in death by a hundred thousand years or so of ancestors, including more than a handful of swindlers, gamblers and bandits. In particular, he will be pleased to once again enjoy the company of his beloved Grandpa Joe and Grandma Julia Kail; Grandparents James and Florence Little; Father Max Kail, with whom he is currently arguing about one thing or another; Mother Vernabelle, whose company he cherished and loyalty as a son was unbounded; and brother Dan (Michelle), or “Sparrow” as Don called him - to Dan’s complete disdain. To his end Michelle was one of Don’s closest friends. Today he is undoubtedly petting Rika, or “Lil Red”, the best dog to have ever owned a human. He loved them all deeply.
Those of us that knew and loved Don that are still kickin’ include brother Richard “Dick” (Carmel) Kail over in Pinedale, the oldest and orneriest of the “Original Three”, for whom Don had the deepest love and respect; (half) brother Jared (Joanna) Kail of Lander, who only shared 50% of Don’s DNA but whose deep family roots made them 100% brothers; son Travis (Nancy) Wesnitzer, Lander, who lovingly held Don’s hand as he passed; daughter Marisa Wesnitzer, Casper; and sons Keith (Jennifer Slack), Knoxville, TN and Chuck (Virginia) Kail, Cookeville, TN, who loved the Ol’ Fart until the end. We don’t know of any other kids, but he didn’t do 23-And-Me, so who knows?
Don also left behind grandkids Courtney Watsabaugh, Jackson; Jack Wesnitzer, Grand Junction, CO; and Jade Wesnitzer, El Campo, TX; Alex Kail, Ventura, CA (or wherever the wind blows him); Amanda Kail, Knoxville, TN; and Aaren Kail, Knoxville, TN; along with nieces and nephews Jade Kail, Lander, with whom Don had an especially close and loving relationship; Cindy (Mike) Steinmetz, Worland; Lesa (Dave) Measles, Green River; Brittani (Dustin Springston) Kail, Lander; Danielle Boggis, Lander; and McKenna and Seneca Kail (“The Crew”), Lander.
Of important note, Don’s extended family includes (ex-, but who’s counting?) sister-in-law Marge (Woody) Wood, of Lander; and Eilzabeth “Betty” Kail (deceased), Lander, Don’s (ex-, but who’s counting?) step-mother and good friend.
The family would like to thank Enhabit Hospice, in particular Whitney Borton, Ashley Marshall, and Alycia Barrett, and Shaylinne Kaiser, for their incredible care during what was a difficult time. They experienced first hand the charm and good-natured humor of “Kail,” and returned that with the kind of care one could only hope for in their waning days. It was because of their compassion and professionalism that Don was able to pass peacefully in his home, as he desired. We appreciate you.
Per Don’s wishes, no services will be held. Tip a glass in his memory instead. He’d like that.
On-line condolences for Donald's family may be made at TheDavisFuneralHome.com